Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Why intution is hard...

The short answer is... because I was ignoring it! 

I was treating as a 'nice-to-have', not the driving principle in my life.  And there's a massive difference between the two.

My friend Georgeanne pointed out to me that, when you have chosen the spiritual path in life, intuition has to be your northern star. And I have chosen that path: I have never gone after big salaries, cars, titles or prestige.  My guiding intention has been to work for the benefit of others through various forms. 

It has taken me years to get to the point where I am able to finally discern the messages from my intuition.  Magnum PI (yes, I'm showing my age now!) used to talk about a "little voice", that gave him hunches about the next clue to solve the crime. Well, since my teenage years, I have waited patiently to hear that "little voice" but, it transpires, that looking for that little voice actually got in my way. 

For me, intuition is more subtle.  It often appears as a fully formed insight or understanding when I'm daydreaming/meditating.  It is an idea that is clear and complete in itself, even if it may be complex. 

And I have been a little wayward in following through on my insights recently.

Here's why: insights often push me beyond where I think I want to go.  They force me to grow, to leave go of comfy old beliefs and understandings, and to rise to new levels.  At present, I am being asked to fully embrace being pregnant and I have fought that for months. 

I have struggled to make myself one of those high-performing, don't-stop-till-you-pop, pregnant women. And it's so not me!   So now the Universe is taking matters into its own hands...

Oprah says that when the Universe talks to us, it does so, first in a whisper and then it gradually increases the volume (if we refuse to listen) until it kicks us in the butt!  I haven't been listening to the the universe's whisper, because I felt it would cause me trouble than I already had.

The result?  Ah, it's splendid!  So many small whispers, random tiny things going very wrong.  I decided to help Dirk and polish his shoes - I got a big wodge of black polish on his new suit; I am still praying that it will come out... I thought I put a bowl of eggshells (yes, still craving egg mayonnaise!) in the bin, but actually ended up covering the kitchen floor in tiny eggshells... I could go on!   Today alone there have been at least three whispers.

Suffice to say, I need to let go and follow my path, instead of trying to force a path into the undergrowth, through the swamp and around the ragged crags, all-the-while holding onto a tiny umbrella in a lashing gale.  You get the picture!

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