Thursday 26 July 2012

The veil is melting

Since the Archangels' visit, my life is transforming at a very rapid pace.  For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to write books on spirituality and daily lives.  I've written - or half written - many books over the years. 

The miracle is that a collection of my stories may now be published.  I went to tell a friend and, out of no where, a butterfly flew past me.  We were indoors at the time and even my friend noticed that this butterfly had literally come from no where.

Last night, I was reading about Mother Mary, when I noticed an enormous pink 'light' in the sky.  Anyone who lives in London may remember that three years ago there were photos of an unexplained, large pink light appearing in the London sky on the front page of London's free Metro newspaper.  I saw that pink light - an angel of love - and now it is back, to hold a vibration of love around the Olympics I imagine. 

I doubted my eyes, however, thinking it may be a trick of the light, so I prayed for a sign.  When I looked up next, the clouds had formed a woman's lips smiling with a face hidden by a lacy veil.  A feeling of awe swept through me.  I had just read of such images of Mother Mary appearing, but it's not my normal experience, yet life since the Archangels' visit has been nothing short of remarkable. 

The veil between soul and 'self' is thinning.  And this is not just for me.  This goes for all of humanity, as we are all progressing on this path together, in our own unique ways.

Wednesday 25 July 2012

The balance of being

I did a meditation yesterday. No great surprise there!  What was different was that unlike other meditations that leave me with a nice buzzy feeling, this meditation brought a profound insight that I'd like to share.

During the meditation, I lost my body.  It faded away and I was left with pure consciousness.  I had my awareness, my thoughts, but nothing else.  I was hovering above water and, being so used to having a body, I automatically went over to a rock to sit down. 

When I got to the rock, I realised that, of course, I couldn't sit down.  I had no body.  I could not do anything.  Consciousness is all about being.  It is not about doing anything.

They say there is a reason that we are called human beings, and not human doings.  I never fully understood that before, not until I was denied the simple pleasure of sitting.  I took it for granted, my body.  I couldn't imagine life, or consciousness, without a body. 

Yet, as with all things in life, our greatest weakness is often our greatest strength with the volume turned up too loud.  It is our doing, excessive doing, thoughtless doing, careless doing, that is our undoing that has created so many of the problems we human beings now face.

Our doing is out of balance with our being.  We are preferencing our human side over our divine side; but balance is of fundamental importance in our spiritual path.  At this point in time, it is equally important for our planet's survival. 

The dance between doing and being is subtle.  Allowing ourselves the time to listen to our intuition, to do what we know is right, not just what is convenient would serve not only spiritual development, it would also be a meaningful act of service, a gift to our brothers and sisters with whom we share this planet.

A toddler in a million

James had his second ice cream this year.  We went to the shop, bought the ice cream and came home. 

The idea was to go out the back and share the ice cream.  As we walked through the house, James noticed an old Italian espresso pot on the floor, he'd been playing with it earlier.  The ice cream in his sights, my apparently super neat toddler waddled back into the kitchen and returned the espresso pot to its rightful cupboard.

Now I don't know whether to be proud, or draw the conclusion that I've said, "tidy up time", one time too often!

Thursday 19 July 2012

40 days

They say that our thoughts create our lives.  Now that I am beginning to see my thoughts and desires manifest in quite short time frames, I understand this principle a little more. 

But what to do with all the negative thoughts?  This issue has been at the foremost of my personal development agenda over the past few months.  I have used various tools, including ACT and Byron Katie's The Work.
They have given me considerable relief, but there is more that needs to be done.  It is as though negative thoughts are insidious worms that hide in the folds of my mind and wiggle to the fore when I least expect them.

I am now doing a 40 day programme which entails noticing every negative thought I think and every negative word I speak and surrendering them to Source to bless.  It is said that at the end of the 40 days, the negativity within us is transformed and released, and that we emerge from the process at a higher vibration.  The 40 days ends on 25th August, so I will let you know if I emerge sparkling clean!

As an aside, I realise that for many of the five readers of my blog, the content of my blog has taken a bit of a turn.  It has moved from a sprinkling of spiritual to a dollop of divine (ouch, that was a bad alliteration!) but I think this is part of my growth.  Spirituality, the divine essence of who we are, has almost mattered enormously to me and now it feels as though that is flowering in a new and dynamic way.  It remanins to be seen how it evolves, but I do hope you stay along for the journey.


For years I have read about the Ascension process, and how human beings are evolving spiritually.  I have read about it and I have felt like I am outside the process.  Not any more.  The last Archangel visit seems to have shifted my life into high gear. 

I now feel alive and buzzing, for no reason at all.  I am excited.  The small miracles that so many of my teachers talk about now abound in my life: the bus arrives, the rain stops when I asked for it to stop, I need a rubbish bin and a road sweeper arrives and takes the rubbish I had. 

These may be small and inconsequential to the outsider, but for me, their value is beyond measure.  They indicate that I am coming into my flow, that I am mastering my thoughts, and that I am holding a higher vibration.  I am becoming the Alchemist of my own life.

Wednesday 18 July 2012

Babies in the office

Last night I saw a documentary about a company that allowed babies in the office for a month.  The experiment was to see if babies would add or detract from their parents' performance at work.

It's a cutting edge idea.  The outcome, perhaps surprisingly for some, was that the babies enhanced the workplace.  They brought out the sense of fun, joy and spontaneity that adults have lost.  They enhanced well being and team spirit in the office. 

In fact, the project was so successful, that the company now allows babies under 12 months to come to work every day with their parents and it has opened a creche for pre-school children.

What struck me was one man in particular: on the first day of the month long experiment, he was annoyed by the noise and by the fuss.  He was annoyed that he had to miss his normal train home in order to get the work done, all because one of his colleagues had her baby at work and he had to pick up some of the slack.  At the end of the month, he was sad to see the little girl leave and he had become an advocate for the programme.

We are not islands, it is not the commission, the prestige or the promotion that gives us our deepest sense of worth.  We thrive when we live and work in community; even if we have to give more of ourselves in order that others in the community may flourish too.  It is a spiritual paradox that in giving, we receive much more.  The experience of this man showed that principle in action.

Monday 16 July 2012

Monday morning

Monday morning.  Life has returned to normal.  It looks the same as always: dirty nappy, dust, wash, clean, hoover, cook...  Not even the sun is shining.

But something has happened.  For the second morning in a row, I have awoken feeling as though I am new.  That is the only way to describe how I feel.  I feel new.  Shiny.  Full of life.  Optimistic.  Blessed.  Light.

The Archangels really were here.  They have transformed me from the inside out.  Nothing has changed outside, and yet I can not shake the feeling that I am new, that I am fresh, that I am reborn to life.

The jadedness that has shadowed me for the last few years is gone.  I feel like I used to feel long ago vibrant... Alive.

With thanks for this wonderful gift.  And, I found a photo of orbs as well!  It's the lilac orb rising up above the candle flame.

Archangels visit - Day 5

The last day.  It's funny how temperamental I am.  I had an amazing experience yesterday morning, where I was touched by angels, and this morning I felt as though nothing has happened this week.  Humans!

I was very sad to at the closing ceremony, like the low after a wonderful party, when life cannot possibly feel as bright and shiny as it did during the party.  I wondered how much I had imagined.

I searched the photos of my altar to see if I had taken any photos of orbs, but I couldn't see any.*  I had to remind myself that I had seen many orbs with my physical eyes just before and after the ceremony on Day 1, so definitely they were here.  I found five incredibly beautiful white feathers while out on a walk with James, a physical sign that they are always with me. 

It's easy to believe we are alone, or even unnoticed by the divine, but that is never the case.  That is the drama of the ego, who feeds on doom and disaster, even if it's not real.

Long before this retreat began, stretching right back into my childhood, I have been touched by Source and by the angels, over and over again.  I saw my first angel when I went to see my brother Peter in hospital, just after he was born.  They have woven in and out of my life ever since, and they weave through all our lives daily, we just fail to notice them.

We are all cradled in their wings: all that is asked is that we reach out to them, that we ask for a relationship with them.  Once we do that, there are no limits to the intimacy and depth of that relationship, to the help and support that they can provide; from the most mundane needs to most majestic human visions, they are waiting to help and support us.

Archangels Visit - Day 4

I asked the Archangels for an experience of them.  I wanted to feel their presence.  This morning, I did feel them.  I was sitting at the laptop, when I felt a tremendous amount of pressure on my head, like you experience when you change altitude. 

At first, I ignored it.  Then I paid attention, sat up and closed my eyes.  It was all that was required.  The energy flowed through my head, from above my head to deep in the earth. 

I haven't felt that much energy in over a decade and it was wonderful.  It was as though I was washed clean.

Friday 13 July 2012

Archangels Visit - Day 3

My friend Susannah describes how, one evening, walking through a vineyard in New Zealand, she suddenly knew what she was here to do.  Her path in life was blindingly clear.

I had a similar type of experience this morning.  I was sitting wondering what to blog, I hadn't a clue what to write, so I surrendered.  I let go of my ideas and asked the Archangels what I should write.  Random thoughts swirled through my mind. 

I wondered how I would ever achieve my dream of being a spiritual writer.  Then I remembered people saying that in moments of spiritual ecstasy, they realise that they do not breathe, but they are breathed. 

"I surrender," I thought.  I surrender to the life of my soul's design.  I felt like a train, with the brakes released, flying down the tracks, around corners and over hills, the air racing past me. 

All my life I have held back, I have second guessed my impulses too often, creating many difficulties for myself along the way.  The effect has been a jerky ride, with many false starts, sideways moves and disappointed dreams.

Now this is a paradox, because on one hand, I have listened for my intuition and have followed it on every occassion that I have felt it clearly.  On the other hand, my mind is very resistant.  It appears to enjoy creating struggles, dilemmas and decisions, where really, there is no need.  My mind loved the drama.  My ego fed on drama.  My soul however, is a free-wheeling train, sliding down the track.

In all honesty, I am not sure how surrendering translates into everyday actions, or how I live a free-wheeling life.  I suspect that noticing my worries and fears, and allowing them to move on rather than believing in them and creating unnecessary tension, fear and pain, simply to feed the drama of My Life, is a good place to start.

Thursday 12 July 2012

Archangel visit - Day 2

One of the things I struggle with most as a stay-at-home mum is entertaining James.  I put huge pressure on my self to stimulate and educate him, and to keep him amused in a constructive manner. 

I have a fantasy that if I were a nursery nurse, I would know how to occupy him, how to make his toddlerhood as rich as possible.  The result is that I often feel overwhelmed, stuck for ideas.  Then I beat myself up for letting him watch television. 

Yesterday I got a book that has helped enormously (How Children Learn by John Holt).  Holt is a gentle, curious psychologist who is fascinated by toddlers and how they explore the world.  Having read his stories about toddler development, I realise that I had put the cart before the horse. 

James knows what he wants to learn, I don't have to force him to do this educational game or that.  I can be led by him.  He knows what he wants to explore, what he wants to copy me doing, and what he would like to take apart.  A weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Yesterday, when I stopped being in charge, I noticed his curiosity in a way I hadn't before: the way he says 'hello' to the trees in the garden, the way he looks through the strawberry plants for strawberries, how he smells flowers and brings me a 'bit' so I can smell it too.

Yesterday was fun when I was led by him.  The dance between James and I is far more subtle than I had understood it to be.  I don't have lead all the time. 

This is my pattern: to aim too high, frustrate myself and miss out on the magic of the journey.  I believe this insight was a gift to me, an invitation from the Archangels to trust life more, to relax into life, to notice the magic of life's journey.

Tuesday 10 July 2012

Archangel visit - Day 1

Why is it raining so much?

London is the Earth Star Chakra of the world.  The new energies that are downloading to the planet, the Ascension process, all are dependent on the heart as the centering point of the new age dawning.  For this reason, humanity all had to come to London, physically and symbolically, to carry these energies across the world.

The rain is like tears, cleansing the heart, releasing the pain, anger, hurt and frustrations that we all hold within our hearts, leaving space for love in all its many guises.  The joy and the excitement of the event is meant to trigger the opening of this chakra, opening the way for a great surge of energy, prompting spiritual and psychical opening, for us and through our planet, as our great journey evolves.

Monday 9 July 2012

The Archangels' Visit

I'm hosting another Archangel visit.  Five Archangels arrive this evening at 9pm for a five day stay. 

I feel it in my waters, this summer is a summer of change for me.  How, remains to be seen, but I sense the energy changing.  I want to do more work with angels, and the idea came to me to host the five Archangels for another visit.  A good idea, but who would I send them on to when I finished? 

As soon as I asked the question, I thought of one of my brothers.  No, he wasn't in the right space at the moment.  Just then I noticed a message from another brother, Peter.  Of course!  He was the obvious choice - when I asked, he agreed.

Given that the idea and the follow-on host arrived effortlessly within a five minute period, I am convinced that they wish to come.  They are coming for a reason, a purpose that I do not understand yet, but when the heavens ask to intercede in my life, I am not going to turn them away.

The last time I did this, Dirk started out as a sceptic but somehow, he wanted to participate in the closing rituals.  This time, Dirk wants to be here when they arrive, despite all his teasing.  I rest my case!

Monday 2 July 2012

The cracked pot

There is an ancient story the moral of which is that a cracked pot, although flawed, is better than a perfect pot because if you put a candle into a cracked pot, the light shines out through the cracks.  No light can be seen from within a perfect pot.

James seems to be approaching the age of tantrums.  We have had so many of them recently that I have sometimes wondered where my kind, loving toddler has disappeared. 

In the malstrom of screaching and tears, I have occassionally noticed my own journey.  I get anxious: what must the neighbours think?  Has he woken them up again? When will this end?  I also fear that he will become a selfish boy and, later, a selfish man. 

This weekend the tantrums were particulary bad.  After one very prolonged session, my nerves were frayed and I too was upset.  Nothing I tried work.  I felt frustrated and powerless.  In all of this, I was aware of my turmoil but I didn't act it out.  I didn't shout, sulk or scold.  I stayed pretty patient.  I did mutter a couple of swear words, borne of frustration, to my husband, but I was in control of my own emotions.  I was good enough.

I was that cracked pot - I could see my 'imperfections' but I was able to hang on to the person I would like to be. I was upset and exhausted, but I was also calm for James.  I was a good enough mum. 

This is the reason I follow a spiritual path: to know myself and my own limitations, and yet not to be bound by them, to surpass those limitations from time to time.  We are all cracked pots.  If we have lived at all, we have been cracked by the tumbles and turmoils of life.  That is our perfection: striving to be more than our faults and failings is when we shine to those around us.