Friday 28 January 2011

Through the eyes of my child

When James looks at me, his look is so direct and so deep, it is as though he is merging with me.  I feel as if he is almost eating me in.  

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and he is looking at me with his Soul Eyes.  At just three months, his soul has not yet been distanced by the thoughts and fears that make my soul seem so much more remote.  He and his soul are still one, still dancing intimately together.

When others look at me, there is more distance between us.  We are separated from each other by our thoughts and fears.  Our guard is up, even in our eyes.  I never even think to take my guard down when I look in the eyes of others.  

Nor do I think of becoming vulnerable by allowing them in, I don’t really allow them to see right through me and into the depths of my soul.  I look at them with my mind, not with my heart and definitely not with my Soul Eyes.

James is so new to life that is simply being.  He’s not protecting himself.  He is living through his heart and soul, not through his mind.  

In a world that has become increasingly anonymous and isolating, his immediacy and directness remind me of how far I have come from the intimacy and love that our gaze can share with another, even a stranger.

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