On falling down and getting back up again

In my last post, I wrote about my feelings of helplessness and, indeed, hopelessness.  For the next two nights I was awake for hours, asking for help and healing, trying to figure out how to lift myself out of a space that wasn't serving me, my higher good, or the collective, in any way.

Sure enough, the answer came, like a little 'pop' in my mind.  I was in victim mode.  I hadn't even noticed it.   I don't even think of myself as a victim, but suddenly, and with blinding clarity, I saw myself behind that mask.


I felt a victim to my job, to my home and housework, to the drudge of days, to my son's school, to my husband, to the achingly slow process of Ascension.  You name it, I resented it.  It seems that everything was, in some way, bullying me.

Yesterday, all that changed.  I read something synchronistically, about choosing to be a victim or a survivor.  That sentence lit a fire in every cell of my body.   My energy suddenly lifted. I have power.  I have choice:  I chose to be here and now.  I am rising up.  The ashes have fallen, and I am Present.

I was feeling sorry for myself, which is allowed.  I was tired, run down and I had no energy.  All of that is allowed.  What's less allowed is self-nurture. 

What's often ignored is that life, and the Ascension project, can be exhausting.  In order to cope with it, much less thrive, we have to nourish ourselves, uplift ourselves by creating little pockets of peace, love and joy in our days. 

I'm not talking about ticker-tape parade moments.  I mean noticing the tiny, almost invisible moments of richness that we often ignore, a moment of appreciation for what we do have: sipping a warming hot drink, noticing a kind gesture, taking a moment or two to simply be, breathing deeply to the count of three with a smile. 

We are over-stretched, over-burdened, and over-loaded on so many levels. 

BUT.... the means are the end.   How we live, creates our lives.  

If we can remember to focus on the simple things, we are welcoming in the spaciousness of our higher selves, the healing power of the divine.  And we are actively bringing about Ascension.