'God' is not angry with me. I've grown up a Catholic/Protestant blend and they have a pretty angry, punishing God that they troop out every Sunday, just enough to terrorise you into good behaviour for the intervening six days.
My inner child is so steeped in this mythology - or cosmology - that although my understanding of God has changed radically, a part of me still believes in any angry God, whom I have failed, not once but repeatedly. A few nights ago, I discovered that 'he' is not angry with me...
Intuition is our soul's mind talking to us, subtly guiding us for our highest good. It's easy to assume that our link with our soul ends there, in practical terms at least, but it is also possible to touch into our soul's heart.
Recently I read about the practice of second attention. First attention is what we are doing and thinking in the world - the level where we spend most of our time. However, there is another, deeper layer available to us.
Rather that focusing on the interactions in front of us, we can dip a level deeper, and focus our attention below the surface of these interactions. This is second attention, and it involves focusing on our hearts, on the space between ourselves and the people with whom we are interacting, not our head or our words.
I've been playing with this since I read about it, trying to dip into my heart and then become aware of the space between myself and another or, more accurately, the energy between us. What I have learnt is that this space is always at peace. That is the overriding state of being I've experienced...even when my first attention was involved in a disagreement with Dirk!
A few nights ago, I was playing with the energy between myself and various other people and events, and each time I experienced peace and love. I decided to bring my second attention to the energy between myself and God, expecting to feel love and peace. Instead, I experienced a burst of pink light and wave upon wave of compassion rolled over me. I was completely bathed in compassion. I never knew God was so non-judgemental, that 'he' was kinder to me than I have ever been to myself, that he cared more gently for me than I care for myself. And what is true of one of us, is true for all of us...
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