Friday 19 June 2009

Relationships - a warm bath or a cold shower

Diana says it's possible to characterise relationships in two ways:

1. the warm bath relationship - in this relationship you feel so cosy, so comfortable and sooo relaxed. There is harmony in your interests, tastes, philosophies and beliefs.

If it were a dance, it would be a waltz, the embodiment of grace and ease. To me, the gift of this relationship type is love and increased self-esteem, as you feel as though you have 'come home'. The possible challenge is that you become so comfortable, you are no longer stretched and may even assume that others do - or should - think as you and your partner think.

2. the cold shower relationship - this relationship is bracing to say the least! You both have very different characters, temperments, beliefs and expectations. Rather than fall asleep in the cosiness, here you are both stretched to understand the world in new ways, to see the limits of your own thoughts and character.

If it were a dance, it would be a tango: where each partner seems to be following their own individual dance, yet they always come back to eachother. The gift of this relationship can be increased awareness of oneself and others. One possible challenges can include too much compromise for one or other partner.

I've had both relationship types and both have brought different gifts with them. And different challenges! One is neither good nor bad. Nor are they immutable: they change and evolve as we change within the relationship.

Perhaps it's a cliche, but they may be like the sea: sometimes calm with golden sunsets, sometimes blustery with choppy waves... In my experience, it's when I've gone through the blustery and the calm, time and again, that the relationship starts to get new depth and richness, as I learn to trust my partner - and he learns to trust me - in all weathers.

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